Category: Temptations
-
Today I felt a general sense of longing for another man several times at the gym, in the shower afterward, and various other times during the day. I know that in the past my same-sex attractions (SSA) have been driven by a perceived lack of masculinity on my part as well as a desire for…
-
Today has been a bit more difficult than the past few days. The reason why is because my sexual temptations are increasing. As the temptations grow, I feel a growing amount of tension that I am usually prone to release through masturbation. But I will not be doing that anymore, Lord. I want to be…
-
A Prayer of Repentance
Lord God, I am sorry for falling into unchastity today. I’m sorry for not being prayerful enough during times of temptation. I’m sorry for entertaining sexual fantasies about other men and lusting after them. I know this is wrong. These men are my brothers in Christ, not potential lovers. I know that you’ve called me…
-
“The Opposite of Homosexuality Isn’t Heterosexuality. It’s Holiness.”
The quote that I used for the title of this blog entry was made by Alan Chambers, the president of Exodus International and the author of the book “Leaving Homosexuality: A Practical Guide for Men and Women Looking for a Way Out.” When I first started dealing with my issues with same-sex attraction, my primary…
-
More Thoughts on the Cross
I was at Eucharistic adoration tonight, and I thought of something that I wanted to add to what I wrote this afternoon. I wrote earlier that I need to man up and fight the temptations that God has given me so that I can be purged of this attachment that I have to masturbation and…
-
Unbound: Freedom in Christ
I recently attended the Unbound Conference that was given by Neal and Janet Lozano (pictured). The conference was all about overcoming sins that have a hold over our lives. It was a really powerful experience. During the conference I came to see that I believe a lot of lies about myself, namely that I am…
-
Back to Therapy
I’ve decided to go back to therapy after a six month hiatus. I’m going to be seeing a different therapist than I was seeing the last time. My new therapist was referred to me by my spiritual director, and apparently he has had some success in helping men and women deal with same-sex attraction. I’m…
-
More Signs of Healing
Over the last several weeks, I have seen more signs of healing in my life. For one, I am really experiencing a fairly strong attraction to women. Thanks be to God! This is a true blessing. Unless you have experienced the cross of homosexuality, you cannot know how difficult it is to have no appropriate…
-
Focusing On Doing Good, Not Just Avoiding Evil
On Tuesday night, our Courage chaplain gave a talk about the need to focus on doing good and performing acts of virtue in the spiritual life, rather than simply focusing on avoiding sin. This was a great topic for me, since I am certainly guilty on overly-focusing on my sins. I am constantly praying for…
-
Fighting Temptations
As I was reading through the Gospel According to St. Matthew recently, I came across the section where Jesus is in the desert and is being tempted by the Devil. Then Jesus was led by the spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and…