“Teacher, We Want You to Do for Us Whatever We Ask of You (Mk 10:35)”

I was really struck by this first line of today’s gospel reading. It made me think about how many times I have asked God for something and expected Him to give it to me simply because I asked for it, without giving much thought to whether the thing that I was asking for was something I needed for my eternal salvation. This temptation is particularly strong when it comes to carrying the cross of my sexuality. I sometimes catch myself asking God to take away my attractions to other men or to take away a strong temptation. This is only natural, because our human nature compels us to want to run away from suffering. And my problems with homosexuality and my sexual temptations have certainly caused me to suffer.

However, there is value in suffering for the sake of God. In my case, my sexual problems have certainly brought me closer to God. I really don’t think I would be in the Church today if it hadn’t been for the experience I have had with my sins. I’m happier now that I have ever been now that I am in the Church and striving to live my faith as best I can with the help of God.

Experiencing sexual temptations, or any temptations for that matter, has value too, even though these can be excruciating at times. I often times just want to masturbate to make the temptations and the tension that goes along with it go away. It’s a huge fight for me to resist these urges. But usually after getting through these periods of temptation, I’ve found that I’ve learned something about God, or about the spiritual battle that we’re all in. And as scripture says, temptations and trials of all kinds strengthen us in our faith.