Category: Jesus
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Today I felt a general sense of longing for another man several times at the gym, in the shower afterward, and various other times during the day. I know that in the past my same-sex attractions (SSA) have been driven by a perceived lack of masculinity on my part as well as a desire for…
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Today has been a bit more difficult than the past few days. The reason why is because my sexual temptations are increasing. As the temptations grow, I feel a growing amount of tension that I am usually prone to release through masturbation. But I will not be doing that anymore, Lord. I want to be…
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A Prayer of Repentance
Lord God, I am sorry for falling into unchastity today. I’m sorry for not being prayerful enough during times of temptation. I’m sorry for entertaining sexual fantasies about other men and lusting after them. I know this is wrong. These men are my brothers in Christ, not potential lovers. I know that you’ve called me…
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Christ is Risen, Alleluia!
Happy Easter, everyone! This is easily my favorite time of the year. We’re finally done with all of the discipline of Lent, and now we get to rejoice in the resurrection of Jesus Christ! Last night, I attended a very good talk in which the priest asked a very important question: What does it mean…
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Surrendering to God and Learning to Suffer
First of all, let me start by wishing you all a happy Palm Sunday! We are entering the holiest week on the liturgical calendar, and I’m sure that I’m not the only one who finds it emotional to recall the passion, death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I’m finding it much…
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An Interesting Week
This has been a pretty interesting week in my spiritual life. Last Sunday, I was really longing for a man’s companionship, particularly a man who I had met the night before. Usually when I feel like this the temptation to masturbate is very strong, and it was last week. Unfortunately, I gave in to the…
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Jesus Never Gives Up–and Neither Should I
I was really struck by the Gospel reading from last Sunday, Feb. 7. In this reading from chapter 5 of the Gopsel According to St. Luke, we hear the familiar story about how Simon Peter and several other fishermen have been out on the lake all night but have caught nothing. When Jesus tells Simon…
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Fighting the Spiritual Battle
Things have continued to be difficult for me over the last several days, particularly in dealing with my temptations to masturbate and have sex with other men. This is part of the spiritual battle, one in which the devil attacks me and tries to get me to act on the temptations that I experience. Like…
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I Choose to Believe
I think I’ve identified a pretty major stumbling block in my spiritual life. I was praying before Mass started today, and I caught myself asking God to help me have faith. I think this is problematic because I don’t really need God’s help to have faith. It’s a choice that I have to make. I…
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Joy
Earlier this week, the chaplain of my Courage chapter gave a talk about joy. Joy is not an emotion that I have been feeling much of lately, unfortunately. For several weeks now, I’ve been feeling rather lonely and starved for friendship. Whenever I feel like that, it becomes very difficult for me to remain chaste…