Category: Masturbation
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An Interesting Week
This has been a pretty interesting week in my spiritual life. Last Sunday, I was really longing for a man’s companionship, particularly a man who I had met the night before. Usually when I feel like this the temptation to masturbate is very strong, and it was last week. Unfortunately, I gave in to the…
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A New Start in My Spiritual Journey
Yesterday, I started meeting with my new spiritual director for the first time. I recently decided to stop seeing my former spiritual director because I was having some doubts as to whether I could trust him anymore. It was a bit sad and a hard decision to make, but I think it worked out for…
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Focusing On Doing Good, Not Just Avoiding Evil
On Tuesday night, our Courage chaplain gave a talk about the need to focus on doing good and performing acts of virtue in the spiritual life, rather than simply focusing on avoiding sin. This was a great topic for me, since I am certainly guilty on overly-focusing on my sins. I am constantly praying for…
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Dealing With Emotions
This past weekend I learned a valuable lesson about the need to learn how to deal with emotions in a healthy way. On Saturday, I was feeling a bit lonely and angry with someone who is very important in my life, and I dealt with it by masturbating. Of course this is not a constructive…
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Jesus Never Gives Up–and Neither Should I
I was really struck by the Gospel reading from last Sunday, Feb. 7. In this reading from chapter 5 of the Gopsel According to St. Luke, we hear the familiar story about how Simon Peter and several other fishermen have been out on the lake all night but have caught nothing. When Jesus tells Simon…
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Fighting the Spiritual Battle
Things have continued to be difficult for me over the last several days, particularly in dealing with my temptations to masturbate and have sex with other men. This is part of the spiritual battle, one in which the devil attacks me and tries to get me to act on the temptations that I experience. Like…
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Trusting in God
Over the last couple of days, God has really been helping me to see some of the obstacles in my spiritual life that are preventing me from growing closer to Him and from having peace in spite of my circumstances. Last night, I was thinking about my friendships, specifically how I feel I don’t have…
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Joy
Earlier this week, the chaplain of my Courage chapter gave a talk about joy. Joy is not an emotion that I have been feeling much of lately, unfortunately. For several weeks now, I’ve been feeling rather lonely and starved for friendship. Whenever I feel like that, it becomes very difficult for me to remain chaste…
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Manliness
I had a pretty good day today until tonight, when I let my loneliness and my feelings of insecurity about my manliness get the better of me and I fell into masturbation. I see the same pattern repeating over and over again: I feel this desire for masculinity, which I feel that I am lacking,…
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Shame
Last Tuesday night our Courage chaplain gave a very good talk about shame. He told us that we can fall into one of two extremes when it comes to shame: constructing our own moral order (i.e., rationalizing away our sins) in order to get rid of the feelings of shame, or allowing the feeling of…