Category: God
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“My Vocation is Love”
Right now I’m reading “The Story of a Soul” for spiritual reading. It’s about St. Therese of Lisieux, a young woman who lived in France in the late 19th century and became a Carmelite nun at the age of 15. She died from tuberculosis at the age of 24, and was declared a doctor…
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God’s Love
Today I had a very interesting insight into some of the feelings that I havebeen experiencing lately. Over the past couple of months I’ve been strugglingwith feelings that I assumed stemmed from loneliness. I’ve had what has at timesbeen a very strong longing for companionship, particularly with other men. Butrecently I’ve noticed that this feeling…
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Today I felt a general sense of longing for another man several times at the gym, in the shower afterward, and various other times during the day. I know that in the past my same-sex attractions (SSA) have been driven by a perceived lack of masculinity on my part as well as a desire for…
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Today was a good day. I spent a few hours with some friends having lunch. I’m really thankful to God that I have a pretty good group of friends to spend time with. But I still feel a sense of longing and loneliness at times. I felt it last night at the New Year’s Eve…
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A Prayer of Repentance
Lord God, I am sorry for falling into unchastity today. I’m sorry for not being prayerful enough during times of temptation. I’m sorry for entertaining sexual fantasies about other men and lusting after them. I know this is wrong. These men are my brothers in Christ, not potential lovers. I know that you’ve called me…
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Moving Forward With Discernment
Lately I’ve felt drawn to two different vocations: marriage and the priesthood. My attraction to both of these vocations has only grown as I have healed from same-sex attraction and as I have grown in my relationship with the Lord. At the same time, I’ve been wondering when it would be appropriate, given my history…
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“The Opposite of Homosexuality Isn’t Heterosexuality. It’s Holiness.”
The quote that I used for the title of this blog entry was made by Alan Chambers, the president of Exodus International and the author of the book “Leaving Homosexuality: A Practical Guide for Men and Women Looking for a Way Out.” When I first started dealing with my issues with same-sex attraction, my primary…
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Unbound: Freedom in Christ
I recently attended the Unbound Conference that was given by Neal and Janet Lozano (pictured). The conference was all about overcoming sins that have a hold over our lives. It was a really powerful experience. During the conference I came to see that I believe a lot of lies about myself, namely that I am…
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Good Couple of Weeks
The last several weeks have been fairly good for me. About two weeks ago, I went to confession to confess my last fall into masturbation and pornography. It was probably one of the best confessions that I’ve had for a long time. The priest really took the time to talk to me about my sins, and…
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Today has been a difficult day for me. I recently got another computer, and before I could put a filter on it I used it to look at pornography. The struggle continues. Usually after I fall into sins of unchastity, I try to figure out what pushed me over the edge. In the past it’s…