Category: Same-Sex Attraction
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“My Vocation is Love”
Right now I’m reading “The Story of a Soul” for spiritual reading. It’s about St. Therese of Lisieux, a young woman who lived in France in the late 19th century and became a Carmelite nun at the age of 15. She died from tuberculosis at the age of 24, and was declared a doctor…
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God’s Love
Today I had a very interesting insight into some of the feelings that I havebeen experiencing lately. Over the past couple of months I’ve been strugglingwith feelings that I assumed stemmed from loneliness. I’ve had what has at timesbeen a very strong longing for companionship, particularly with other men. Butrecently I’ve noticed that this feeling…
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Today was a good day. I spent a few hours with some friends having lunch. I’m really thankful to God that I have a pretty good group of friends to spend time with. But I still feel a sense of longing and loneliness at times. I felt it last night at the New Year’s Eve…
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Moving Forward With Discernment
Lately I’ve felt drawn to two different vocations: marriage and the priesthood. My attraction to both of these vocations has only grown as I have healed from same-sex attraction and as I have grown in my relationship with the Lord. At the same time, I’ve been wondering when it would be appropriate, given my history…
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“The Opposite of Homosexuality Isn’t Heterosexuality. It’s Holiness.”
The quote that I used for the title of this blog entry was made by Alan Chambers, the president of Exodus International and the author of the book “Leaving Homosexuality: A Practical Guide for Men and Women Looking for a Way Out.” When I first started dealing with my issues with same-sex attraction, my primary…
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Back to Therapy
I’ve decided to go back to therapy after a six month hiatus. I’m going to be seeing a different therapist than I was seeing the last time. My new therapist was referred to me by my spiritual director, and apparently he has had some success in helping men and women deal with same-sex attraction. I’m…
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Cultivating Joy
I was reflecting the other day on why I have done little to resist the temptation to fall into sexual sin, and I came to the conclusion that one reason may be that I am not doing enough to cultivate joy in my heart. My relationship with God has grown so cold, so sterile, and…
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More Signs of Healing
Over the last several weeks, I have seen more signs of healing in my life. For one, I am really experiencing a fairly strong attraction to women. Thanks be to God! This is a true blessing. Unless you have experienced the cross of homosexuality, you cannot know how difficult it is to have no appropriate…
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Dealing With Emotions
This past weekend I learned a valuable lesson about the need to learn how to deal with emotions in a healthy way. On Saturday, I was feeling a bit lonely and angry with someone who is very important in my life, and I dealt with it by masturbating. Of course this is not a constructive…
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Fighting the Spiritual Battle
Things have continued to be difficult for me over the last several days, particularly in dealing with my temptations to masturbate and have sex with other men. This is part of the spiritual battle, one in which the devil attacks me and tries to get me to act on the temptations that I experience. Like…