Today I felt a general sense of longing for another man several times at the gym, in the shower afterward, and various other times during the day. I know that in the past my same-sex attractions (SSA) have been driven by a perceived lack of masculinity on my part as well as a desire for intimacy. Not sure if any of these are playing a role in the sense of longing I felt today.

Here is my prayer for today: 

Lord, help me to understand what is driving my desires. Send down your Holy Spirit to grant me insight into the longings of my heart. I believe, Lord, that I am just as much of a man as other men. Help me to believe that with all my heart. I also believe that you give me everything I need, including good friends – I thank you and I praise you for them! But if it be your will help me develop close friendships with other men. I know that they cannot satisfy me completely – only you can. That is why I am going to set my heart on you and the things of Heaven. All I want is you. I can live with this sense of longing if that is your will for me. If it is, thank you for this cross. I know that if it is the cross I must carry, it is for my own good. I love you and trust in you. All my hope is in you. Amen.